8 Ways to Help Your Kid Be Stronger Than Stage Fright

It’s holiday recital season, and while parents are excited to see their kids shine on stage, many children and teens dread being the center of attention. Stage fright, AKA performance anxiety, refers to feelings of nervousness from performing in front of an audience. Stage fright is one of the most common fears in the U.S. and it’s understandable why; the thought of speaking, singing, or dancing in front of grinning strangers and flashing cameras can be a little intimidating for anyone. But if children don’t find healthy ways to cope with performance anxiety, it can hold them back from pursuing their passions and reaching their potential later in life.

So what can parents do to help their kids cope with stage fright?

1. Rehearse routinely

It can be hard for parents to know how much to push rehearsals before a performance, as they don’t want their kids to feel burnt out. Still, ample rehearsing helps a child memorize their performance, boosting their confidence and reducing anxiety. Make rehearsing part of your daily schedule as soon as your child receives their lines or routine, even if only for 10 or 15 minutes a day.

2. Dial up that diaphragm

Every pro performer knows the importance of diaphragmatic breathing; in addition to helping a person project their voice, it also works to calm their nerves. Teach your child the difference between shallow and deep breathing. Have them practice slow “belly breaths” and remind them to take a few deep inhales and exhales before stepping out on stage.

3. Focus on the message

Stage fright can prevent a performer from showing their true passion and talent. Remind your kid that the audience is there to experience the performance’s message, and not to judge them as an individual. Ask your child what their performance goals are - what ideas or emotions would they like the audience to experience from their performance? Remind them to reflect on those goals when they are feeling self-conscious.

4. Soothe with self-talk

Encourage your child to practice positive self-talk about their performance. Tell them to repeat affirming statements to themselves such as, “I’m going to do great,” “I’m an amazing performer,” or, “this is going to be so much fun.”

5. Accept their nerves

Many people try to force away stage fright or tell their kids to just get over it, but repressing fear is ineffective and often makes it worse. A healthier approach is to teach your child to understand and accept their nerves. Talk to your child about symptoms of nervousness such as blushing, rapid heartbeat, and sweat. Remind them that they can do a great job even if they are feeling afraid. Assure your child or teen that nervousness is a normal part of performing that even famous performers experience.

Click here for more tips on coping with anxiety

6. Encourage excitement

Many parents think that kids should only focus on relaxation before performing, worrying that excitement will add to the high-strung feelings of stage fright. However, research suggests that excitement actually helps to reduce anxiety. By embracing their nervousness and channeling it toward excitement, your child will get amped up to perform with more passion and positivity.

Click here for more tips on igniting your child’s passion

7. Find their “A-game activator”

Encourage your child to come up with a special phrase or song that unleashes their A-game before they set out on stage. It may be saying a word to themselves like, “epic” or “outrageous” or listening to an empowering song like, “Roar,” or “Eye of the Tiger.” Have them imagine that every time they say their word or sing their song, their inner star is unleashed and their sassiest, boldest performer emerges ready to wow their audience.

8. See a specialist

Stage fright is a normal experience for children, teens, and even adults, but if a person can’t find healthy ways to cope with their fears, it can hold them back in several areas of life. If you are concerned that your child’s performance anxiety is holding them back from pursuing their passions or reaching their potential, our Specialists at Variations can help.

*Please note: since the publishing of this blog, Variations Psychology has narrowed its focus to diagnostic testing and psychological evaluations. Our Doctors can evaluate whether you or your loved one have a diagnosis and guide you through the next steps in achieving your mental health or academic goals. While Variations does not offer counseling, our diagnostic evaluations allow us to refer patients to specialists who are best equipped to meet their needs. In addition, this link can guide you through a directory of therapists, psychiatrists, treatment centers, and support groups in your area.

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References:

Brooks, Alison Wood. “Getting Excited Helps with Performance Anxiety More Than Trying to Calm Down, Study Finds.” American Psychological Association , Journal of Experimental Psychology, 23 Dec. 2013, www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2013/12/performance-anxiety.aspx.

Dingfelder, Sadie F. “Putting the 'Play' Back into Performing.” American

Psychological Association, Monitor on Psychology , Dec. 2005, www.apa.org/monitor/dec05/play.aspx. Psychologist Jon Skidmore helps young musicians overcome anxiety and enjoy themselves on stage.

“How to Keep Fear of Public Speaking at Bay.” American Psychological

Association, Monitor on Psychology , Feb. 2017, www.apa.org/monitor/2017/02/tips-sidebar.aspx. 

How to Cite This Blog Article:

Shinn, M.M. (2018). 8 Ways to Help Your Kid Be Stronger Than Stage Fright. Psychologically Speaking.

[Variations Psychology blog post].  Retrieved from https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/8-ways-to-help-your-kid-be-stronger-than-stage-fright