My Kid Can’t Understand Nonverbal Communication – What Could be the Cause?

Is your kid stumped by sarcasm? Eluded by expressions? Baffled by body language? 

Humans express up to 93% of emotional meaning through tone, facial expressions, and gestures. As a result, understanding nonverbal communication is an important social skill for kids to develop. However, several disorders and neurological differences can impair a child’s nonverbal communication skills. While nonverbal deficits aren’t recognized as a standalone disorder, they can still impact a child’s education and hold clues that point to other diagnoses. 

So what do nonverbal deficits look like? Here are 10 common challenges:

1. Trouble “reading the room”

A telltale nonverbal symptom is difficulty interpreting body language and facial expressions. Because kids with nonverbal deficits can’t understand what isn’t explicitly stated, they often fail to recognize when someone becomes bored or uncomfortable with a conversation.

2. Like literally so literal

Kids with underdeveloped nonverbal skills tend to take things very literally, causing jokes, sarcasm, or metaphors to go over their heads. This can lead to frequent misunderstandings and awkward moments with parents, teachers, and peers.

3. Preferring to play alone

It’s not uncommon for kids with nonverbal challenges to talk a lot, but not always share in socially appropriate ways. They often miss social cues and interact awkwardly, making it difficult to establish friendships. The good news is that their lack of social judgement can shield them from fully experiencing the pain of peer rejection. However, they may start to feel odd or different as they enter their teen years, causing them to prefer the company of younger children or older adults who impose less social pressure than same-aged-peers.

4. Clumsy coordination

Another common symptom among kids with nonverbal deficits is poor spatial awareness. This causes them to be accident-prone or to unknowingly invade the personal space of others. These struggles make it difficult for them to participate in highly coordinated activities, such as bike riding or team sports. Their fine motor skills also tend to be underdeveloped, causing sloppy handwriting, poor grip, and difficulty using scissors or tying shoes. Occupational Therapy is often effective in helping kids with nonverbal deficits improve their coordination and motor skills. 

Unsure which treatment or intervention would work best for your child? Click here to learn how diagnostic testing can help

5. Relying on routines

Many kids with nonverbal learning challenges find comfort in rigid routines and compulsive behaviors. You may notice that they always turn doorknobs a certain number of times, organize objects in a specific order, or have inflexible rituals for starting or ending their day. Unlike kids with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) who want their compulsions to stop, kids with nonverbal deficits usually resist changing their routines. They rely on these behaviors to help relieve their anxiety and avoid the sensory discomfort they feel from transitions.

6. Missing the big picture

While kids with nonverbal deficits may appear to be inattentive to others, they’re often highly focused – just not on the big picture. They tend to fixate on non-essential details and miss the general idea. For example, after reading a book on the American Revolutionary War, they might be able to name every battlefield, but not understand that the war was fought for independence from imperial rule.

7. Their grades don’t match their IQ

Nonverbal learning deficits are not caused by low intelligence. In fact, most kids with nonverbal challenges have strong memorization, reading, and spelling skills, but struggle with comprehension and abstract thinking. In math, they may memorize addition facts effortlessly, but struggle with word problems or equations that require carrying or borrowing numbers. 

In English, they may have difficulty writing essays due to poor organization and abstract comprehension. They often have weak visual-spatial skills, making it easier for them to remember what they’ve heard, rather than what they’ve seen. General study habits are also challenging because they struggle with planning and multitasking. Each of these struggles make it difficult for them to live up to classroom expectations, despite being highly intelligent. 

Accommodations can help your student with nonverbal challenges succeed on the SAT or ACT

8. Their teachers don’t always “get” them

Nonverbal learning challenges are not recognized as an official disorder, and society has only developed a greater awareness of learning differences in recent decades.  As a result, many educators lack an in-depth understanding of kids who struggle with nonverbal communication. 

They may see a student who is extremely capable in some ways, but tremendously challenged in others, causing them to underestimate the severity of the student’s struggles. They may also mistake the students’ rigid routines and overly-literal responses for stubbornness or defiance. This can lead to unwarranted disciplinary action and the student feeling discouraged and unsupported. 

Do you disagree with a previous educational evaluation your child received? Schedule your consultation to learn how we can help.

9. They may have other disorder(s)

If you’ve checked out our blog on Autism (ASD) in teens, you may have noticed that kids with ASD can have many of the nonverbal challenges outlined above. In addition, ADHD, social pragmatic communication disorder, developmental delays, and several processing disorders are also characterized by nonverbal challenges. 

An evaluation by an Educational Psychologist is the first step to identify whether a disorder or learning difference is causing your child’s nonverbal learning challenges.

10. They’re highly capable with the right support

Kids with nonverbal struggles have valuable strengths to share with the world, but they can only reach their potential if they are given a supportive learning environment. While nonverbal challenges are not recognized as an official diagnosis on their own, schools may provide 504 Plan support if the student has a diagnosis that contributes to nonverbal challenges impacting their education. If the student has one of the 13 diagnostic categories outlined in IDEA, they may be eligible for an IEP. Our team can provide a comprehensive evaluation that details the impact of nonverbal deficits on your child, and guide you toward receiving effective support.

So you know you need help, but aren’t sure how to find the right help?  

If a loved one has a learning difference or other condition that impacts their mental health and education, you may feel lost in determining the best ways to support them.  Our Diagnosticians can provide psychological testing to remove the guess-work and guide your family on the best path toward mental health, emotional wellness, and academic success.

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More about Variations Psychology

Variations Psychology is a group practice specializing in diagnostic testing to identify psychological conditions.

Our comprehensive evaluations test for conditions that impact mental health and development such as ADHD, autism spectrum disorders, depression, anxiety, learning disorders, and developmental delays. 

In addition to diagnostic services, we offer Independent Educational Evaluations (IEEs) of K-12 students to assess needs for accommodations in school and determine their appropriate placements. IEEs provide an objective second opinion on existing IEP and 504 Plans.

For K-12 and post-secondary students, we offer evaluations to assess needs for accommodations on standardized tests, college entrance exams (e.g. - SAT, ACT, AP Exams), and graduate and professional licensing exams (e.g. - MCAT, LSAT, GRE, CBEST, NCLEX, GMAT, CA Cosmetology Exam,
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How to Cite This Blog Article:

Shinn. M.M. 2021. My Kid Can’t Understand Nonverbal Communication – What Could be the Cause?. Psychologically Speaking. [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/my-kid-cant-understand-nonverbal-communication